Tony Evans – “You may have been a victim, but you don’t have to live like one. The cross has given you victory.”
I recall the first time I traveled to be with a highly respected African leader and speak at his church. He was someone known and honored around the world. He picked me up early in the morning to take me to his early service, and the very first thing he said caught me entirely off guard.
“What is it with you Americans?”
I was already weary from jet lag and somewhat nervous about speaking at his large church. He was a highly respected and great man of God. His blunt question disoriented me. He let the words hang in the air, waiting for my reply, which only deepened my discomfort. Then he continued:
“Why do you always make excuses for yourselves? Many of our women have endured unthinkable hardships. They’ve grown up in poverty, faced abuse, even sexual trauma. Yet they cannot afford to act like victims. If they neglect their responsibilities, people will starve, die, or end up on the streets. Survival depends on them taking responsibility for their lives, no matter how painful their past has been.”
That was his opening line of conversation—with me, a tired, jet-lagged visitor.
Later, I learned the backstory behind his words. Not long before my visit, this leader and the organization he belonged to had hosted a well-known American female minister. She was very famous, and her name had recently appeared in Christian media for scandals surrounding her personal life. She had been in physical altercations with her second husband to the point that police had been called to their mega church parking lot. The marriage ended in separation and divorce, yet both she and her second husband carried on in their ministries with little accountability. Her past also included a history of same-sex relationships and other unresolved issues.
My friend and others questioned her about these matters, and she consistently shifted the blame to her childhood. She claimed her “broken” (sinful) responses were the result of her upbringing, the racial oppression of her people, and personal pain, yet at the same time insisted that all of it was “under the blood.” In other words, she excused her incredible present sin (which would have been an immediate disqualification for most leaders), while refusing to take responsibility, and she framed herself as the victim. Not surprisingly, her ministry has been marked by continual drama ever since.
This story highlights the continuous danger of a victimization culture that dominates our nation today. When our real or perceived pain, and even the perceived pain of people we don’t even know, becomes the throne that we bow before, it enables us to disconnect our “personal responses/rights” from His “Kingdom responsibilities.” People become obsessed with the pain and/or challenges they, or others they identify with, have faced, while their sense of responsibility for their life and behavior shrivels. This is deadly, especially for God’s people.
Our past hardships must never become excuses to sin or avoid/neglect our present responsibilities.
Every generation wrestles with how to process real injustice, oppression, and pain. The Bible itself does not minimize the reality of pain or oppression; God repeatedly confronts oppressors and defends the poor, the marginalized, and the stranger (Exodus 22:21–23; Isaiah 1:17).
There is a subtle shift that can take place in the human heart: when our real or perceived pain moves from something we bring to the Lord into something we enthrone. It becomes the center of our identity, the lens through which we interpret all life. Unchecked by God’s Spirit, our real or perceived pain, or the pain of others becomes a throne, and we worship at its feet.
The Idolatry of Pain
Idolatry is not only about bowing to statues; it’s when we place anything, good or bad, in the position that belongs to God alone. Pain and oppression can become idols when they:
- Define our identity more than being sons and daughters of God.
- Shape our worldview so that everything is filtered through offenses.
- Dictate our responses – justifying sin, hatred, bitterness, or irresponsibility.
- Demand loyalty – any challenge to victimhood is seen as betrayal.
When pain becomes enthroned, the healing of Christ and its testimony to the world is no longer the goal. Instead, hatred, power, and revenge are. Thus, sin is easily excused, and we live from the wound rather than from the cross.
The Kingdom Contrast
The Kingdom of God offers a radically different path. Jesus never denied the reality of injustice; He experienced the greatest injustice of all on the cross. Yet He refused to let victimhood define Him. Instead of enthroning His pain and responding with anything He felt, He surrendered it to the Father.
Paul echoes this when he says, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14). Our past, whether privilege or pain, must never sit on the throne of our lives. That place belongs to Christ alone.
Our past difficulties, or the difficulties of those we identify with, must never become excuses to sin or neglect our present responsibilities before Jesus. Yes, pain is real. Yes, injustice leaves scars. But when pain becomes a throne, it enslaves us. When Christ is on the throne, He redeems our pain and makes us whole. The throne belongs to Jesus, not to our wounds.
The early church endured persecution, imprisonment, and death, and they counted it an honor.
Biblical Resiliency, “I rejoice in my weaknesses, for when I am weak, then I am strong” (in Christ 2 Corinthians 10:9-11)
Victim culture has turned resilience into a dirty word. The biblical model of perseverance—where believers are told to stand firm (Ephesians 6:13) and run the race with endurance (Hebrews 12:1)—has been replaced with a theology of grievance and revenge. If you are facing challenges, it is because you have been wronged, and you are free to act anyway you want to get out of it or feel better. Paul boasting in his sufferings (2 Corinthians 11:23-30), yet many today boast in their real or perceived wounds—not as a testimony of victory, but as a justification for living any way they desire.
Jesus’ Example and Call Away From Victimology.
Jesus never once promised an easy life. He promised victory, but victory assumes there’s a battle to fight. The apostles weren’t victims; they were warriors who refused to bow to their circumstances.
Jesus experienced the most profound injustice imaginable. He was betrayed by friends, falsely accused, beaten, mocked, and crucified. If anyone had the right to claim victim status, it was Him. Yet the Gospels show us a radically different response—one that charts the path for us today.
He Refused to Let His Pain Define Him: When Pilate pressed Him with accusations, Jesus remained silent (Matthew 27:14). He did not allow the narrative of victimhood to shape His identity. Instead, He anchored Himself in who He was: the beloved Son of the Father (Matthew 3:17).
Our identity must be rooted in God’s affirmation, not in our wounds.
He Entrusted Himself to Father’s Justice: Peter reflects on Jesus’ example: “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to Him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). Jesus overcame the need to retaliate by trusting God’s justice and His working things together for our good (Romans 8:28)
Resilience comes when we give God ownership of our story and resist the urge to take vengeance.
He Chose Forgiveness Over Bitterness: From the cross, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). This was not a denial of pain but freedom from its control. Forgiveness broke the cycle of victimhood.
Forgiveness does not excuse injustice; it liberates us from being chained to it.
He Saw God’s Purpose Beyond the Pain: Hebrews 12:2 says Jesus endured the cross “for the joy set before Him.” He interpreted suffering in light of God’s greater plan. Pain was not the end of His story; resurrection was.
Christ’s people refuse to let pain be the last word. They look for God’s redemptive purpose on the other side.
He Used His Wounds to Heal Others: Even in resurrection, Jesus bore His scars. Thomas touched them and believed (John 20:27). His wounds were no longer marks of defeat but testimonies of victory.
Our scars can become sources of healing when surrendered to Christ. What once symbolized victimhood can become the very evidence of God’s power.
Resilience in Christ is not denying pain or pretending injustice doesn’t exist. It is refusing to enthrone it and use it as an excuse to react any way we feel. It is trusting the Father, choosing forgiveness, and walking in the hope of resurrection.
Furthermore, it’s time for the church to reject the culture of perpetual offense and victimhood and embrace the biblical call to endurance. The world says, “You are a victim.” Jesus says, “You are more than a conqueror” (Romans 8:37). The question is, which one will the church believe?
Victimhood says, “I can’t move forward because of what they did.”
Jesus says, “You can move forward because of what I did.”